Ten Odd Facts I learned from Movies

---Broken Brain---

You can learn more from life from a single Die Hard movie than you can from an entire college semester.  You just have to know how to glean the information from the movies, how to analyze the patterns to find the Truth that lies below the explosions.  Physics, sociology, philosophy, math, it's all there.  You just have to be open to the wisdom of Action Movies.

11.)  Rural cops have southern accents, and city cops have Brooklyn accents, regardless of location (outside of California).

Obviously, you get a few miles outside of any city and you're in the Deep South.

10.)  It's surprisingly easy to make a car explode.

Almost frighteningly so, really.  It's sort of like every car has a bunch of self-destruct buttons hidden on it, and if you catch it just right it'll go like a firework.  In a pinch, shooting the trunk of a car is a great way to make it blow up.

9.)  Cops crash their cars a lot.

Cops aren't very good at high-speed chases, it seems, but there are usually a whole bunch of them.

8.)  The more gunmen are shooting, the fewer bullets will be fired competently.

And if you're behind a trash can or a metal fridge door, you're very nearly invincible in a gunfight.

7.)  The more important you are to the story at hand, the longer it takes you to die.

The trick, I think, is to figure out what the story is and become important to it.  Or avoid the hell out of it.

6.)  Elite hacking looks a great deal like a video game.

It makes sense, with how much fun hacking looks to be, that very good hackers are fat slobs, but the truly great ones are phenomenally good-looking.

5.)  Pneumatic injectors are common, safe, and very easy and intuitive to use.

If I didn't know better from the movies, I would think that these devices would be unsafe in inexperienced hands.  The experts, it seems, tell directors otherwise.

4.)  Very Smart Men are almost always either terrible with people or evil.

But if they're bad with people and moral, then they'll end up charming the tough, smoking hot female FBI agent with their innocence and unexpected bravery.  If they're evil, they obviously have a hot Asian girlfriend with mad ninja skills.

3.)  It is safe to fall from almost any distance, so long as you land in a full dumpster.

The power of our castoffs (and awnings) to safely stop long falls is stunning.

2.)  It takes between 30 seconds and two minutes to trace a phone call, unless they person being traced is "bouncing the signal all over the place."

I assume that bouncing the signal all over the place looks like a video game.

1.)  Nearly any gunshot wound can be overcome by sheer determination.

Only pansies, bad guys, and tragic comic relief characters actually die of a single gunshot wound.

Comments

[the_force]

It's also very, very important to remember NOT to read ALOUD any book that has "necro" in the title.

[Broken Brain]

@the_force:
I have a firm rule against speaking Latin around any leather-bound book.

[e]

Xander, don't speak Latin in front of the books.

[the_mighty]

Also, you can't solve the crime until you are kicked off the case.

[combot]

And that you can't outrun the hockey-goalie freak, no matter how slow he walks. HE CAN TELEPORT.

[Mackenzie]

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