These Go To Eleven

The Ten Most Badass Movie Characters of the 1990's

---Broken Brain---

The nineties was a pretty good decade for me.  Sure, I spent most of it getting an idea of just how much joy the Universe would spend shitting on me in future years, but I hadn't yet learned how to give a damn about the future, so I had a great deal of fun.  I also spent it watching these guys and learning important life lessons.  Like how to fire a pistol when your trigger finger has just been torn off with a corkscrew.

The Ten Most Overrated Bands of All Time

---Broken Brain---

Your favorite band isn't as good as you think it is.  This is a fact.  It doesn't matter who you are, it's true.  My favorite band isn't as good as I imagine, either.  Everyone.  Some bands, for whatever reason, tend to garner lots and lots of people feeling this way about them.  It kind of collects until there's some sort of general (at least within a social class) consensus that this band is way, way better than they really are.  If it keeps up, it eventually gets to the point where this overrating is a living, breathing thing, a monster feeding on our lesser urges and undeserved acclaim via those terrible invasive radio waves.  Here are the ten worst cases.

Songs That Will Never Sound the Same: Movies Edition

(((Preston Mantooth)))

    Since the dawn of time itself, the use of the prewritten song has been a great way to not have to write an original film score (I'm looking at you Mr. Tarantino) , and sometimes there's a song that somebody else has already written that just fits a scene better than anything you could write. Some of these songs have completely lost their original sound, meaning, and/or feeling because of a movie they were in. It's not the movie's fault. Sometimes a song just gets ingrained into a scene so solidly it starts to belong to that movie and it can't be heard without reliving (much less thinking about) that particular movie.
    I tried to pick songs that it  seem like the mood or meaning has changed because of its use in a movie.  I also tried to use song that you might very well hear at random in public. Say for instance played over the radio, a "store radio",  used in a TV/Radio commercial, Etc.  and all you can do is stop listening while the cashier (or prostitute) tells you your credit card has been declined and yell at the top of you lungs PUUUDIN AH D RIZZZ!!! in the middle of a grocery store (or brothel) because you heard the song on the store's (they're both stores) radio, or you just look around and see if anyone else is cringing or rockin' the shit grin for the same reason you are.

 

 

The Ten Best Movies of 2007

---Broken Brain---

Iron Man came out this weekend.  This is probably the early beginning of the summer movie season, which means that it's time to look back on last year.  It's kind of like an awards show, only I choose movies that are actually good.  I'm a rebel that way.

Last year was a great one for movies; 2007 dropped some of the best movies of all time right on my face.  Which is good, because it kicked me in the nuts with some of the worst.  I mean, come on: black spooge from space is the Venom story you're using?  Pfft.

Fortunately, the following Top Ten Best Movies of 2007 is based on the best origin story ever: me writing it.  Admittedly, I haven't seen every movie that came out in 2007.  Not even close.  That doesn't matter.  I'm right, you're wrong (unless you agree), and these are the Ten Best Movies of 2007:

Warning:  Possible Spoilers ahead.  But they're for movies from last year, so it's totally OK.