The Ten Most Dangerous Movie Animals

---Broken Brain---

Most of the time, if you've got a movie with an animal in it, it's about some snot-nosed human youth's relationships with the creature.  Dogs are common.  Every once in a while, though, a movie comes along that dares to remind us that our animal "friends" are really just hanging around waiting for their chance to eat us.  Here are ten of the best.

11.)  Lions - The Ghost and the Darkness (1996)

Besides having an extraordinarily cool title, this flick has cats that made the Iceman piss his pants in fear.  That's pretty awesome.  These lions were no joke, either.  The real lions that the story is based on killed more than 130 people in nine months in 1898.  At least that's what IMDB says, and IMDB is infallible.

10.)  Them - Them! (1954)

Let me make this perfectly clear: I hate ants.  Burning them with magnifying glasses?  Perfectly OK by me.  Just, even.  I think I hate ants just about more than any other creature ever.  And these ants (Them ants?) are giant mutant radioactive bloodthirsty ants, which is marginally worse.

9.)  The Anaconda - Anaconda (1997)

"But," you say, "That movie blew!  The snake was utterly unrealistic, and barely killed anybody!"  You, sir, are correct. Still, this terrible CG snake was extremely dangerous.  I actually killed my best friend for making me go see this crap.  I've heard several reports of moviegoers killing themselves or those around them halfway through this crapfest.  If Ice Cube and Jon Voight can't save a movie because the monster is so bad, that's a dangerous critter in my book.

8.)  Cujo - Cujo (1983)

Good puppy.  Gooooood puppy.  Good puppy?

7.)  SmartShark - Deep Blue Sea (1999)

Obviously this shark is something special, because it killed Samuel L. Jackson so easily and, as we all know, Samuel L. can only be cut by lasers made of titanium diamonds.

6.)  Scar - The Lion King (1994)

It's a lion.  That's dangerous.  It's a badass evil lion.  That's extra-dangerous.  It's a lion so badass, in fact, that it was voiced by Jeremy Irons.  At around the same time as he was doing the Lion King, he was also playing Simon Gruber, arguably the most awesome of the Die Hard villains.  That's a serious kitty.

5.)  Birds - The Birds (1963)

If you can name one other pack of seagulls that's blown up a gas station, I'll eat my lunch.  Which is a hat. 

4.)  The Raptors - Jurassic Park (1993)

Those fucking dinosaurs broke my toe.  No, seriously, I broke my toe while celebrating when I beat the Sega game.  Anyway, a supersmart pack of hungry dinosaurs?  I say knock Goldblum down and run like hell.

3.)  The Monkey - Outbreak (1995)

You think he didn't mean to kill all of those people?  Oh, he meant to.  It brought him such joy: look at the gleam in his beady little eyes.  He was trying to kill all humanity.  Little bastard.  Evil, adorable little bastard.

2.)  Jaws - Jaws (1975)

That is one big, scary shark.  When people heard that I was doing this list, Jaws is the one suggestion that every single person gave. This big fake shark literally made millions of people scared to go into the water.  "Shark Week" would almost certainly never have existed were it not for this movie.  Also, the name of this site was almost "We're gonna need a bigger list."  Not really.

1.)  Apes - Planet of the Apes (1968)

Enslaving the entire human race is actually a great deal more difficult than it seems.  Trust me, I've tried.  These glorified chimps succeeded.  Mad props.  [Insert requisite Charlton Heston joke here: Moses?  Soylent Green?  NRA?]

*****Edit*****

Some fella calling himself "1st2triplets" (why, I don't know) commented below that I forgot the Killer Rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975).  He's right.  The Killer Rabbit does belong on this list somewhere.  So here it is.  Don't say I never gave you anything.

Comments

[1st2triplets]

a good list, but you forgot the truly most dangerous movie animal:

...the KILLER RABBIT from Monty Python's Holy Grail.

how could you forget him?!

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