The Ten Most Annoying People on the Internet

---Broken Brain---

Besides you, of course.  Unless you fall into one of these categories, which you probably do.  It seems more and more every day like damned near everyone on the internet is just around to piss me off.  You'll notice that a lot of these groups have equivalent groups in the real world (and on the Real World).  They are often even more annoying on the internet, though, because it's way harder to punch them.

11.)  Shameless Promoters

I don't mind promotion on the internet.  That's how it's free(ish). I don't mind self-promotion on the internet.  That's sort of what we're all doing.  However, is it too much to ask that you feel suitably bad about cluttering my internet?

10.)  Comment/Forum Trolls

Internet trolls are basically that guy at the party that's really drunk and trying to pick a fight with everyone, except that trolls are 13 and not totally awesome.

9.)  First Comment!ers

You, sir, are less useful than a really great 9/11 joke.

8.)  The Humorless

I'm not one of those assholes who spouts racist madness and then calls himself "an equal-opportunity offender."  If you've ever referred to yourself like that, you should go jump off of a bridge and onto my foot.  That being said, there is something to be said for being able to understand that sometimes people are kidding, really.  There is a difference between racist jokes and jokes about race, and while some things are genuinely offensive and should be called out, come on, people, lighten up.  It's the internet, for Chrissake.  Most of this stuff is written by robots, anyway.

7.)  Religious Zealots/Dogmatic Atheists

If you're going to quote Scripture to me, stop.  It's not that I'm anti-religion, it's just that you're not going to change anybody's mind by quoting a shoddy translation of a book written 1700 years ago, especially when there's always another guy who can quote another part that totally contradicts your part.  And if you're going to try to prove that God doesn't exist, you're efforts are even more pointless.  You would do better to spend your time waxing Richard Dawkins' back.

6.)  SHOUTERS

There are situations in which it is just and good to use all caps for a small piece of text.  I swear to all that is Holy, though, that one day I'm going to snap and replace one of your eyeballs with your caps lock key.

5.)  Forward Whores

I love my mommy.  I really do.  I'm kind of a douchebag, though, and even my Sainted Mother gets no leeway on sending me tons of useless forwards.  Come on, people, if it's a link or something just send me that, and don't leave all the other crap on it.  If it's a nice little poem or anecdote about God and kittens, well go fuck yourself.

4.)  Compulsive Meme-spouters

Yeah.  Chuck Norris is, it would seem, unusually tough.  Is it necessary to mention this on every single forum thread and email?

3.)  The Guy Who Knows A Little About Politics

I think it was Einstein or Mark Twain or Jesus or some other guy that everyone quotes too much who said that ignorance is annoying, but a little knowledge is even more annoying.  Or something like that.  I've never been all that religious.

2.)  Anyone Who Has To Be Right

My opinions are way, way better than yours.  This is proven by the fact that I have a website that people actually read (note that I didn't say "smart people").  However, I recognize that I'm often wrong, and I don't terribly mind being proven that way, so I'll listen when people make counterpoints.  Also, I'm occasionally willing to just let it go when people make inaccurate or unfair statements on the internet.  Why am I willing to do this?  Because I'm not a complete and utter cockhole.

1.)  Spammers

Do I need to explain this at all?  If you don't understand why this one has to be number one on this list, then you must be a spammer.  In which case, my only question is: Why are you not off killing yourself right now, like you should be?  Here, I'll help.

Comments

[Dumpster Jeff]

First Comment!

Take that #9.

[Broken Brain]

BAH!

[hank wank]

boy, you really are a douchebag

[mike]

You should really learn some grammar, pal.

Foreward? Really? Someone needs to _forward_ you a dictionary.

[Broken Brain]

@Mike: You're right. Thanks for pointing it out.

[Doosgesig]

Don't forget the most annoying people with their "The 10 Best" lists

[Doosgesig]

Don't forget the most annoying people with their "The 10 Best" lists

[Broken Brain]

@Doosgesig: Or those that post their comments twice? Yeah, top-ten list writers are probably in the top twenty, but, fortunately, I don't write top twenty lists.

[Preston Mantooth]

yeah, I can understand posting the same comment twice in the same minute on accident but... their fucking 2 minutes apart. what a complete douche.

[Preston Mantooth]

yeah, I can understand posting the same comment twice in the same minute on accident but... their fucking 2 minutes apart. what a complete douche.

[Doeszak]

Deer Surs,

You're Post is apsolootely amazing! So Troo. PLS have them coming too me more offen.

Kind Retards,

Yoors Trooly,

R.

[Entity]

Ha. I love that number 11 is how I found myself here again, hoor.

[Broken Brain]

@Entity:
It's how I roll. Of course, people who say "it's how I roll" go on a whole different list.

[Entity]

"this guy?"

[Alex]

"There is something WRONG on the internet!"

[Frank]

How about "people who can not count to eleven?"

[jo]

If You Know someone who doesnt lke chuck norris, you wont know them for long ;))

roundhouse kick ((((Y))))

[Mami]

the people that annoy me the mosts are some people just can't get a hint. I often put my skype or MSN on invisible mode if I am busy doing something already. And then there are people who constantly keep sending meaningless comments on Skype or MSN such as " Poke" or " are you there?" constantly... if I respond to them and tell that I was preoccupied, you would think they would get the hint, but then they insist to go on voice chat! I hate that! Some people are just voice chat freaks. needless to say, those people usually do not stay on my contact list for long.

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