The Ten Creepiest Commercials Ever

---Broken Brain---   

Advertising is very hit or miss.  I guess.  There's always pressure to be edgy.  Sometimes the initial impact of a commercial, though, is to completely creep America out (note: two of these commercials are Japanese, but I assume that it doesn't actually creep them out).  Some of these are some of my favorite commercials ever: being edgy works, sometimes.  Still, here are the ten commercials that creeped me out the most.

[The idea for this post came from Jarrett at Post-Apocalypse]

11.)  Burger King: Hootie

FUCK, Hootie!  Don't sneak up on me like that.  Have you been hiding there since 1997, waiting to jump out at me?  And did you slip me a whole bunch of acid?

10.)  Head On. 

[Head On, apply directly to the forehead.  Head On, apply directly to the forehead.  Head on, crown Dick Cheney King of the World.  Head On, apply directly to the forehead.  Head On, bail out Bear Stearns.  Head On, apply directly to the forehead.]

9.)  Enzyte: Smiling Bob's Lap

So, the implication here seems to be that these women are lining up to sit on Santa's lap because of his huge, Enzyte-engorged member.  Santa Claus.  Why must you take an innocent childhood thing and make "chubby" jokes?  Not OK.

8.)  Snuggle Soft

He may look like a cuddly bear, but that's the Devil.  I know it.  Look into his beady little eyes.  Yeah, he'll give you the softest sheets and towels on the block, for the low low price of $3.99 plus tax. . . . . AND YOUR SOUL!!!!

7.)  Cialis, Viagra, etc:  Old People Fucking

I realize that it's a very delicate subject, and it's difficult to take it on in a way that isn't creepy.  I don't care.  This needs to stop.  Old People getting down, with their artificial hips creaking up a storm because the Blue Football didn't give them time to oil up, other than maybe a dash of olive oil on his old, loose-skinned, grey-haired chest?  Not appropriate subject matter for a commercial.

5.)  Schwartzeneggar Goes To Japan

I'd just like to remind you as you watch this madness: this man is the highest executive of the largest State government in the United States.  This man was chosen by millions of people be one of the most powerful people in the world.  This man commands the National Fucking Guard.  Seriously, California.

Seriously.

6.)  PS3: Doom-Baby

What the hell was Sony thinking with this?  I don't even have any idea what the goal of this commercial was, unless it was just to creep me out.  Maybe this doll was just possessed by Snuggles.

4.)  Skittles: Little Barn of Horrors

I've got to give props to a company that decided to turn their ad campaign over to Brad Pitt's character from 12 Monkeys.  It started with the "believe in the power of Skittles or plummet to your doom" commercial and continues to this day.  This one, though, might have gone a little too far.  I love it.

3.)  Sprite: SubLymonal Advertising

This isn't just one of the creepiest commercials I've ever seen, this is absolutely one of the creepiest images to ever be burned into my memory.  Still makes me shudder and long for Sprite.

2.)  Burger King: The King

This commercial was so utterly creepy that they made it into a freaking video game, and kids run around wearing King masks for Halloween.  That's just awesome.  Remember the first time you saw this, though?  Man.

1.)  Kikkoman

The first time I ever saw this masterpiece of weird I seriously thought I was having an aneurysm.  There's actually an English version that you should watch, too.  Note the differences.  No smoking, no suicide, etc.

Comments

[Snuggles]

I REALLY liked the Snuggles comercial. I think it shoulda been closer to #1 in creepyness. my brother used to have taht teddy bear! ghaaa!

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where's the doughboy? i can't believe you didn't include that pallid, pudgy, piece of poo.

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[ClubPenguinCheats]

I think it shoulda been closer to #1 in creepyness. my brother used to have taht teddy bear! ghaaa!

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Hi Gil,

The issues that occurred on 8/23 were resolved almost immediately. Our apologies for not checking in about this on the blog.

Thanks!

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Angie

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Have you been hiding there since 1997, waiting to jump out at me? And did you slip me a whole bunch of acid?

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the doughboy? i can't believe you didn't include that pallid, pudgy

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