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March 10, 2008

Ten Most Incomprehensible Black Metal Band Logos

the>Preston Mantooth<

     We've all seen them. While walking through the record store or show on the front of a black t-shirt,  or on an album itself, or maybe you (like myself) even like some of this noise. We've all seen the crazy Typography (scribbled or actual fonts) that's covered in what seems to be tentacles, branches of gnarled dead oak tree, lightning, or some indescribable devil root growing out of them. Usually a big gory mess,  yet some how graceful & elegantly symmetrical, and always difficult to read.
    Getting back to the point, There are a metric fuck-ton of black metal bands out there. I realize this now, and I tried to use bands that are signed to at least a small indie label. I'm sorry, but your cousin's black metal garage band doesn't count for this one. I also assume you don't already know the bands that belong to these logos. So check out the logo and try to figure it out before you go look at the name. Trust me, it's more fun that way. Anyway, here they are. The ten most incomprehensible black metal band logos.


11)))Borknagar_3








Band Name:
Borknagar
Land of origin: Norway
Overly Specific Classification: Progressive / Viking / Folk (Black Metal)
This one is cut and dry compared to the others except for the well hidden "N" and the backwards "R" This is one of those that if you have previous knowledge of the name it's a good bit easier, but i think a great example.


10)))
Bazzah

 






Band Name:
Bazzah
Land of origin: Malaysia
Overly Specific Classification: Malaysian (Black Metal)
This one is visually minimal compared to most. Not that much crazy stuff around the type itself. Short name, simple logo, but everything is hidden very well. This one could make the list just because this bands debut album was seized and destroyed by the Government (of Malaysia), but not before they sold 300 copies. bad ass.


9)))Watain

 







Band Name:
Watain
Land of origin: Sweden
Overly Specific Classification:
(Black Metal)
I love this logo, because it's perfectly symmetrical even though the word isn't a palindrome (a symmetrical word like noon or racecar) except for the slightest bit of faux erosion.


8)))Lurkerofchalice

 
















Band Name:
Lurker Of Chalice
Land of origin: San Francisco, California
Overly Specific Classification: Ambient (Black Metal)
Up until this point the names are somewhat guessable, but if you can read this with out already knowing what it is supposed to say, well you're better at this than me. This one kinda stands out, it being not all that symmetrical. Also dig the ax in the middle for the "F".


7)))
Enslaved











Band Name:
Enslaved
Land of origin: Norway
Overly Specific Classification: Progressive / Viking (Black Metal)
These guys are from Norway and love their viking heritage, if you can't tell from the almost runic type face or the Norse decoration, and, oh yeah, the hammer of Thor hanging from the center.



6)))Nokturnal_mortum










Band Name:
Nokturnal Mortum 
Land of origin: Ukraine
Overly Specific Classification: Folk / Symphonic (Black Metal)
This list is not here to say whether or not a band is good or total crap, Satanic or Druish, or if they are national socialist fuckheads like Nokturnal Mortum. Logo is difficult to read, moving on.


5)))
Leviathan











Band Name: Leviathan
Land of origin: San Francisco, California
Overly Specific Classification: Ambient (Black Metal)
This is in my mind the definitive black metal logo. It's got great symmetry and plenty of "devil roots" growing from its completely unreadable type. This one took a good 5 min. to find all the letters in the name. Also, it's the second in the list for the black metal icon known as Wrest. He is the sole member of this band and Lurker of Chalice, and has great logos for both.


4)))Averse_sefira

 












Band Name:
Averse Sefira
Land of origin: Austin, Texas
Overly Specific Classification: Death (Black Metal)
Devil wings and upside down five pointed stars. Can't go wrong with that. I found all the letters in this one but it took me a long time. Tough nut to crack.


3)))Wolvesinthethroneroom












Band Name:
Wolves in the Throne Room
Land of origin: Olympia, Washington
Overly Specific Classification: Ambient / Folk (Black Metal)
The longest name in the list and yet one of only 4 in the list that spell check had no problems with whatsoever, interesting. I like this logo a lot. It looks like it could almost be drawn with a big fat graffiti marker.  Extremely difficult to read. I honestly couldn't figure this one out, I'm still missing 2 letters. Don't worry, I found the sideways "W".


2)))Korgonthurus1_2













Band Name:
Korgonthurus
Land of origin: Finland
Overly Specific Classification: (Black Metal)
Look, I know it totally just looks like an old branch. I almost wrote this one off as nothing, but look closer it's there. I think, that maybe just maybe I've found all of it but i "found" a lot of stuff in it. Like 4 different places that "N" can be, so.


1)))Xasthur

 
















Band Name:
Xasthur 
Land of origin: Alhambra, California
Overly Specific Classification: Ambient (Black Metal)
This is it. I Could not figure out this thing out at all. Except for the "X" and "R," which are so obvious it's like they're mocking me! The (for lack of a better word) fuzziness is covering up any way to tell what is type and what isn't. Either I'm looking at it wrong or it's impossible to decipher. I had to give up on this one. It made me angry. It wins.



Comments

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Surprise surprise, they all look about the same to me. Of course, Black Metal kind of, as a rule, blows. It's really just an excuse for a bunch of talentless kids with silly-shaped guitars to stand on a stage without people criticizing their poor hygiene and ridiculous long flat hair. Am I wrong to say that a metal show is the only place left where a person in a black leather duster can be taken seriously?

Now who's being pretentious... of course they look the same to you. Moron.

He's a moron because they all look the same? They DO look the same. But then again, all shitty black metal sounds the same, so I guess they all get together in a giant meeting to make sure they have the same crappy logos too.

@Jason.
He's right, I am a moron. He's known me for enough years to know that pretty well. You're right in that they do get together in a giant meeting. . . . Seriously, I've seen pictures of it. Oddly, for a group of people who love Vikings so damned much, not a single Minnesota jersey there.

i figured out xasthur. it's all quite easy. the X and R are obvious.

the 'a' is in black and large (fits right under the upper right arm of the 'x', the 'sth' are all in the middle part, scratched in the black with white (the 's' is small, the 't' is large, the 'h' is small) the 'u', like the 'a' is in black and larger than the 'sth'

true i also think Xasthur is not that hard


but very nice list and cool idea ;D

\,,| METAL UP YOUR ASS! |,,/

Yea, you don't understand a thing from their logo!

The whole gimmick of the corpse paint as they call it and all the leather and spikes and shit I really think is overboard cheezy. However there are a few Black metal bands that I have heard that I actually like. But this whole logo things is fuckin stupid and overdone. Seriously, does there have to be an upside down cross for every "T" in their names? Then they throw an extra one in their for shits and giggles. Some bands go too far to show how "Evil" they are. Just play the damn music and let that speak for itself!

Just like to point out, 4 of the 6 bands on the list that DO have "T"s in their names DON'T use upside down crosses(please,don't mistake the hammer of Thor in numbers 1 and 7 as a cross). Also, none thrown in for "shits" and / or "giggles" (but they are thrown in for extremely black, dark, evil, satanic, and VERY serious reasons). Just sayin'.

ima start a black metal band and ima call it GIGGLEBUNNY cuz that would be ironic and funny and stuff and the logo will be like and anime bunny being hugged by a little anime girl but the songs will be called stuff like "Bloodbath" and "Rectum Ripper" and Gutslurping Killdragon Vikingsword Dude" and stuff. It'll be awesome.

wow dave the depth of ur irony astounds me, its sorta like, instead of a black metal cliche image, itl be an anime bunny. ha ha ha im laughing. and well i think that bands who put in more than just music are not necesarily bad. not criticising those who simply play music but whats wrong with putting on a show at the same time?

I think this kind of band logo is really good looking for a metal band but only if you can actually read the bands name, otherwise they are useless in my eyes. http://www.thevirusmustbestopped.com/

I listen to black metal and I like half of those logos. The logo doesn't have to readable, just recognizable and the more unique the better. But as you can see, symmetry is a very strong trend. Anyway, they're just band logos and if you don't know the music behind them, you don't get the right impression.

This would make a nice chalange. Colore the letters or what you think are the letters.

Hey, what about forgotten land? This logo is ridiculous!

http://img136.imageshack.us/img136/2324/57639logoede4778tl5.jpg


"talentless kids with silly-shaped guitars to stand on a stage". You have no idea what you're on about. It takes a lot more skill and talent to play the music those bands play. Even if it doesn't sound good in the end.

the world always needs more vegan straightedge black metal bands from california

While I'm not really a fan of death metal, it certainly takes more talent then jumping around on stage and repeating a poem you wrote over and over and adding a few expletives.

Hey now, Im not a Death Metal afficionado, but I saw Leviathan at Ozzfest and they were pretty cool. The names DO NOT look the same, what you mean is they are all nearly unreadable. :^)

lol, you fools.
Black metal is all the same?
Right, and Asians are all the same, rap is all the same, and all Americans are all same.


But yeah, those logos look the same, but it's kinda like this... you know how all cars look the same? tires, frame, doors? Well they look the same because they have to.
These logos look the same for the same reason. It's the only real way to look that badass. They have to be similar.


I don't know any of these bands, they might all sound they same... but check out Nevermore, Opeth, Death, Amon Amarth... good stuff.

Douchebag #1: "Hey, their logo looks cool, how can we use MSPaint to rip it off and try to make a name for ourselves other than writing music that doesn't copy their style as well?"

Douchebag #2: "How can we use MSPaint to rip it off? SAY NO MORE!!!! Should I make it completely unrecognizable, thereby guaranteeing that we have nothing but retarded fanboys following us around?"

Douchebag #1: "You bet!!!"


Would you a**holes PLEASE come up with something that isn't at least fifteen years old?

i could read the first 2 then i got completely lost
nice list

Black metal sucks. I love metal, but black metal tanks. God-fucking-awful music. And I even like death metal! Whoever said black metal requires talent is obviously not "tr00" nor "kvlt" because black metal is supposed to be shitty.

Requirements:
1. You suck, all your band members suck, and your singer is your best friend who you asked to fill the vacancy, regardless of the fact that he has never tried to sing in his life. Don't worry, you say... it's not necessary. How right you are!
2. You record five instruments by routing them through one output and laying down the track on a single input tape recorder, circa 1978.
3. You produce your tracks by scraping and/or partially melting the tape in random spots.
4. Your songs all feature references to the moon, Nordic mythical creatures, the woods, or the Baltic Sea.
5. You've recently had the revelation to wear white and black face paint and leather to stand out and be unique.

And you rap haters should lay the fuck off... I'm also a hip hop producer and that shit takes WAY more talent than playing 7 fifth chords per album. I should know, I play guitar too.

Black metal kids are douche bags.

@DILLA: You forgot wolves. They love wolves.

1: They do not all look the same, only simular.

2: They are all very difficult to read.

3: They look v. Cool.

4: Most Rap sucks, though not all.

5: Most Hip Hop is cool, but a lot of it sucks

6: These logos rock, wether or not the music is any good!

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