---Broken Brain---
Gary Gygax, possibly the single most important man in the history of role-playing games, sadly passed away Tuesday of an aortic aneurysm at the age of 69. In the course of his life, he impacted the lives of untold millions of people, and his works will certainly continue to do so for many years to come. He created many different games in his long career, but it was one of his first publications, Dungeons & Dragons, that has had the farthest-reaching effects.
I think of this list as an homage to the greatest gamer ever. Many of you will probably just want to punch me in the face for it, though. As a completely tasteless bastard, I give you ten ideas of what may have been Gary Gygax's last words.
11. "What do you mean, Gelatinous Cube?"
10. "Aneurysm, hell! I've got +5 Mithril full plate!"
9. "Damn, poison. Damage to con."
8. "Did I seriously leave my healing potions in my other armor?"
7. "Aneurysm? That's not really very imaginative GMing."
6. "Time to see if Pat Robertson was right about me."
5. "Umm. . . . Anyone got a res? Anyone?"
4. "Trap? Please, my dex is 24. I'm opening the chest."
3. "Level 100, bitches!"
2. "I don't know. What does happen when you put a bag of holding in a bag of holding?"
1. "Shit. Botch."
Rest in Peace, Gary. Thank you, and may you forever be surrounded by good friends, full tankards, and pretty elf-maids.
"Aww, hell... Missed the save roll v. death"
Posted by: Tenacious B | March 07, 2008 at 11:28 AM
Yeah you also forgot: Dragon? what dragon?
Posted by: Morbalus | March 07, 2008 at 01:01 PM
"Hey guys, you are gonna carry my body back to town and find a cleric.... Right? Guys...?"
rip brother
Posted by: Bruski | March 07, 2008 at 02:02 PM
Since I haven't played in 10 years I will just respond with "Brilliant"! exceedingly funny stuff!
Posted by: Nightmare | March 07, 2008 at 04:16 PM
If there is a heaven I hope you're there man! My life has greatly improved because of your contributions to the world. R.I.P.
Posted by: Abremalin | March 07, 2008 at 05:08 PM
Your blog sucks. Your jokes are so far from funny it hurts.
Cheers.
Posted by: Skas | March 07, 2008 at 05:23 PM
Now he must prepare himself for "true death" in the world of Planescape.
Posted by: Reep | March 07, 2008 at 05:41 PM
I check for traps and carefully search the body to see if he had any good loot
Posted by: Shawn | March 07, 2008 at 08:33 PM
Talk about pissing of the GM
Posted by: Franklin | March 07, 2008 at 11:58 PM
God must have fudged the roll; it simply was not his time to go. This is why the DM shouldn't have a screen.
Posted by: Slug | March 08, 2008 at 10:44 PM
"note to self..ugghh...sunglasses don't work on beholders...gahh..."
"mr druid, use re-incarnate. i want to be a lich this time"
rest easy gary. and let your dreams be filled with all the sexy elf's and pretty celestial women you deserve! so heres to the man who foght more epic battles than goku, and more horrible monsters than bruce cambell.
Posted by: cyotie | March 09, 2008 at 06:47 PM
Damn I rolled a 1!
Posted by: 1sted D&d | March 10, 2008 at 11:09 AM
All I needed was the Left Elbow of Vecna and I'd have been immortal!
Posted by: JohnTomato | March 14, 2008 at 12:04 PM
hahahahaha the 'Level 100, bitches!' one was funny as hell!!! Awesome ideas... hugs
Posted by: Guilherme Balan | September 24, 2008 at 05:54 AM
As a Buddhist, I wonder what character he'll roll next.
See ya in the next campaign, Gary.
D
Posted by: Dave | November 21, 2008 at 05:10 PM
"Zero?! How did I roll a zero? Shit, I'm finding a new DM, your dice suck."
See you in someone else's game!
Posted by: Shon | November 21, 2008 at 11:16 PM
one more...
"A red what sweeps from where and eats who?"
Posted by: DarkMantle | November 22, 2008 at 12:25 AM
"Hold on, guys. I'll roll a new character."
If only.. D:
Posted by: Neikun | November 22, 2008 at 03:45 AM
Does anybody have 1000 GP worth of diamonds?
Posted by: Daniel Koksal | December 12, 2008 at 01:38 AM
"Aaah, shit. Dire red bull."
Posted by: Nick | December 31, 2008 at 03:36 PM
"Well, this is what I made the Ghostwalk book for"
Posted by: Joe | January 29, 2009 at 07:47 PM
"The only way I can fail that save is if I roll a one...... shiiiit."
Posted by: Kaitlyn | January 29, 2009 at 07:50 PM
"A portal opens before you, do you enter?"
"Yes...shit, wait, this means I'm dead, doesn't it?"
"Yep."
"Are there at least Valkyries?"
Posted by: Ghost|BOFH | January 30, 2009 at 11:26 PM
I think he only made it to level 69.
Posted by: Clay | December 11, 2009 at 02:52 AM